1. ‘I am lonely’
Loneliness is never a reason to get married. Plus if you are lonely, then truth is you need God. We are created with a ‘hole’ that only God can fill. So most times we find ourselves looking for people, habits, activities, career and relationships to fill this hole. We finally find these things but we realise they just don’t satisfy. This is why a person can finally get into a relationship or marriage and still feel lonely. However, when God comes into your life, you feel and are complete. You feel a type of satisfaction that you cannot get from anyone or from anywhere. Then God can say that though you are complete in me, “it is not good for you to be alone” (Genesis 2:18) and He sends you someone you can pour blessings in to and not someone that you see as a means to an end.
2. The 'when are you going to get married?' pressure
This might be the hardest thing to deal with because as much as we try to ignore the comments from our aunties and uncles or even parents, that pressure might still be there. However, in every situation, we should find joy in knowing that God has our back and has a beautiful plan for us! He has a purpose for our lives. Remember that you are not working on anyone’s time. So while culture might put a time limit or an age limit to when “you should get married”, it is important that you put your trust in God and trust His timing. Let God lead you at the right time and right age to the right person for you. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
3. ‘All my friends are married’
And we are really happy for your friends but you are not your friends. This goes back to really knowing that God has a purpose for you and your prayer everyday should be for His perfect will to be done. More so, it is worth knowing that coveting is dangerous, not only because it is against Gods word, but because you end up not enjoying and learning in your season. So celebrate with your friends, be happy for them and be content in your season. He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
4. 'She is so attractive'
While attraction is key in every relationship, it should not be the only reason you make a relationship or marriage decision. The thing about infatuation is that it is short lived. When the high of the attraction wears off, you are stuck with reality and we can only hope you have not made the wrong decision. You have to get to know the person you are getting married to. This is something that takes time and you have to also be intentional and prayerful. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).
5. 'He got monaayyyy'
I have heard of many stories of ladies getting married to a man because of his wealth and then finding in marriage that the source of his wealth is from black magic a.k.a juju a.ka. Babalawo a.k.a Iyalawo (you get the point). It is too late as they are used for sacrifice or have to pay the price with their spouse (It is that deep!). It is not wrong to get married to a wealthy man or woman, but if that is your only reason for getting married to them, then chances are you ignore the red flags. Remember, the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows (1 Timothy 6:10).
6. 'I have to make it on BellaNaija wedding'
When you think about marriage, if all you think about is the amazing dress, bridesmaid on fleek, Asoebi bella, Bella Naija, then your priorities are wrong. We all want that memorable wedding but you should not spend most of your courting season planning a wedding and not a marriage. A wedding will last a day or 2 or 4 but a marriage will last a lifetime. Prayer and studying God's word is key when thinking of getting married. Why? Because God instituted Marriage and only Him can tell you how he purposed it to be in your life.
My prayer is you would all get married for the right reasons, your decision on who you choose to get married to will be spirit led and your marriage will be celebrated. In Jesus Name! Amen.
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