22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Now that we have a deeper understanding of what submission is, it is important to clarify some misunderstandings. Below are some beliefs women have on submission however it is far from what God wants it to be.
A man is superior to a woman - Submission does not make a husband superior to his wife. Although the husband is the head of the house, there is something about godly leadership that is very different from man's idea of leadership. When Jesus speaks about leaders he talks about the importance of serving (Matthew 20:26 NLT) - if you cannot serve first, you cannot lead. This applies to husbands too, for a man to lead a home he needs to know how to serve first. He needs to know that he has to put his wife and children first. Leadership is not flaunting authority over those under you but it is serving those under you (Matthew 20:25).
A submissive wife has to be a housewife – There is this idea that for a woman to be submissive, she needs to be a stay at home wife and her only job should be cooking, washing and ‘keeping’ her home. Now if we look at a wife of noble character, a Proverbs 31 wife, we can learn a lot about the characters a wife should have. Proverbs 31, describes a noble wife as one that is hardworking but still takes care of her home. Proverbs 31:18 also make reference to a woman’s business (trading) being profitable – She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. So you need to understand that you do not have to be a housewife to be submissive to your husband. However if you want to be a housewife, this does not stop you from being submissive either.
PS. If you know it is not your joy to be a housewife, you should not marry a man that wants his wife to stay at home and not work. An important aspect of submission is accepting the leadership of whom you are submitted to. This is why you must not only marry a man that is submitted to God but also a man you are compatible with.
Be a slave to your husband – Submission does not mean that a wife turns into a slave in her home. It also does not give allowance for a man to mistreat His wife. The bible says that therefore a man should love his wife like Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Christ surrendered His life for us, He put us first, He protected us and He loved us. This is how God wants husbands to treat their wives. Thus you should want to be with a man that is submitted to God. As a woman, it is important to be with a man that values you and respects you.
Submission means you have no opinion as a wife – Submission is practical, it does not mean that you become mute in your marriage. A woman is a helper (Genesis 2:18) and can be a part of decision making in the home too. Also you have to make sure that you submit first of all to the will of God before you submit to any man. So in a situation where your husband wants to get you involved in something that is against the will of God, you know that God's will comes first and that you will choose that over anything else.
Just like every other command in the bible, you need the grace of God to obey and practice submission. This is why we need to first of all be submitted to God. We also need to be very careful with whom we choose to marry because as a Christian lady, we are commanded to submit to our husbands. So you should not get married to a man whose heart is not submitted to God, or to a man that is abusive or a man you cannot see yourself submitting to.