The bible says we should not be unequally yoked. So most times people are satisfied with the fact that the person they want to be with says he or she is a christian. It should not stop there though because there is a need to discern if the person lives by faith or by flesh. Why? Because the basis for wanting to be with a christian is not just to tick off another commandment in the bible but because of the benefits being with a christian comes with. Dating and eventually marrying a christian means you have a prayer partner, a person that fears God, a person that know who he/she is in Christ, a person whose principles are based on the bible, a person that deals with situation through faith and not fear and most importantly a person who can love you the way God ordained him or her too.
So How do you know he/she is a christian?
There are some questions you need to ask yourself and you can only answer these questions by discerning with the help of the Holy spirit.
1. Does he/she live by God's power?
The bible says that the kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk, it is by living by God's power (1 Cor 4:20). What jumped to me when I read this verse was that it is not just claiming you are a christian but living by the power of God. Living by faith and facing situations and trials with faith. The question is does he/she live by faith. This is also a personal question we need to ask ourselves too.
2.Does he/she indulge in sin?
Yes, God forgives us every time we sin and we are made righteous through our faith. However, this does not give us, as christians, the license to continue sinning. So if you find yourself with someone that claims he is a christian yet still finds himself finding pleasure in sin, then it throws a big question. Now this does not mean christians do not struggle. However, no one enjoys struggling. Thus, we constantly fight to overcome that struggle (amazing thing is as christians we have the help of Jesus to overcome all strongholds!) but when we find ourselves enjoying that struggle, it is no longer a struggle but a conscious choice.
3. Does he/she produce the fruits of the spirit?
This goes to looking at a person's character. A fruit is the produce of the seed sown inside of you. So when the bible talks about fruits and compares the fruits of the holy spirit and the fruits of the flesh, it goes back to what you dwell on and what you are led by. As a Christian led by the Holy Spirit, you should produce: peace, faithfulness, love, kindness, self - control (Gal 5:22-24). These are the types of character you should see in the person that calls himself a christian. But when the person shows fruits of sexual immorality, impurity, selfishness, anger and the likes (Gal 5:19-21) then it leads you to question their faith.
In all things remember to be prayerful and ask for the help of the Holy Spirit in making your decisions. I speak a bit more about this topic on my Youtube Channel. So if you want to hear more please click the 'subscribe' button below!